10 Universal Laws for Parents of Teens
1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after music and the phone) is a strong sense of belonging. They need to feel they are a part of something bigger than themselves. If they don't get it in a healthy place - with family, worthwhile friends, clubs, sports, youth groups, etc. - they will get it in an unhealthy place - with inappropriate friends, drugs, gangs or cults.
2 "Law of Hope": Recent statistics show that one of the age groups in which the suicide rate is rising is adolescents. This is the direct result of a lack of hope - hope for the future, hope that things will get better.
3 "Law of Power": Once you enter into a power struggle with a teen, you have already lost it. Remember the closing line of the movie War Games: "Interesting game . . . the only winning move is not to play."
4 "Law of Management": A management approach to raising teens puts parents clearly in charge. The goal is to manage them eventually out of your lives and into their own. Parenting is one of those jobs in which the goal is to eliminate the need for your job.
5 "Law of Modeling": If you don't want your teen doing something, make sure you are not doing it yourself. Teens have very strong and sensitive hypocrisy meters and are eager to use them.
6 "Law of Differing Views": It's no great insight that parents and teens view the world in different ways. One clear example of this is school. For parents, the view is we work all day, kids don't. School is their job. Therefore, they should get good grades. The view of teenagers can be that school is right in the middle of their important social world.
7 "Law of Punishment": Punishment often springs from anger. Punishment breeds resentment and a desire for revenge. Teens have many creative ways to retaliate.
8 "Law of Consequences": Consequences teach teens about the real world. In general, consequences need to be reasonable, respectful, swift and strong enough to get the attention of teens.
9 "Law of Structure": Parents need to set boundaries and structure from day one. If you don't do this while they are young, what makes you think they will obey a curfew once they have a car? We tend to over structure the time of young children and understructure the time of teens. Teenagers need structure as much, if not more, than younger children.
10 "Law of W's": When teens are away from home, parents need to know who they are with, where they are, what they are doing, and what time they will be back.
Jeff Herring, MS, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist specializing in working with teenagers and their parents. A nationally syndicated relationship columnist and speaker, Jeff is also the founder and CEO of http://www.ParentingYourTeenager.com, where you can subscribe to his f'ree internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager." E-mail Jeff at firstname.lastname@example.org
Help Your Children to Love Reading
It is so important to create an environment that promotes the love of reading. Not only is reading necessary for survival in today's world, it is educational, it sparks imagination, it is a stress reliever, provides entertainment and enjoyment, the list goes on.
Parents and Children Working Together
When parents help their children learn to read, they help open the door to a new world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally they read for their own information or pleasure.
Ten Terrific Ideas for Rainy Day Fun
It's been raining for a week and the kids and bored and restless. How do you cure those rainy day blahs? Try some of these parent tested and kid approved ideas and your children will be hoping for another rainy day when the sun finally peaks through.
What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity
The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is the term nutritionists use to describe the intended balance between calories consumed and calories burned.
People of the Century by Dan Rather
Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got involved in politics where he should not have gone. I personally and millions of American's lost complete respect for him and he left the news media under a cloud of darkness while disgracing his family name and negating so much of his earlier work.
Teaching Your Children with Coupons
Coupons can be a great tool in educating your child about saving money, being frugal, and shopping smart. Who doesn't want their children to grow up knowing how to save easily on every purchase? With coupon clipping you'll show them money saving skills they can use throughout their life!Teaching your child with coupons can start at an early age.
The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children
What you say and do about money has a profound influence on your child. There are money moments every day that you can use to teach your children important skills and lessons about life.
Your Big Yellow Bus
The big yellow school bus is coming down my road again. The neighborhood kids seem happy.
Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right
One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them from being isolated from their peers Gifted children are a diverse group of kids who are talented in specific areas such as mathematics, language, sport or music. Some gifted kids are mutli-talented excelling in a variety of areas.
Are You Meeting ALL Your Childs Basic Needs?
This may come as a surprise, but many parents are unaware ofthe full extent of their child's basic needs.Do you remember the old song by Lennon and McCartney aboutthe girl leaving home after 'living alone for so manyyears'? The parents were desolate.
Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days is to pretend to be a kid, in a kid site chat room.Child predators are talking the lingo, misspelling words, having simple conversations to gain trust with children on the internet.
Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United States in the year 2000.
How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant medication, such as Ritalin and Dexedrine in their various forms, in treating the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders in children, teens, and adults. Even though stimulants are not the only effective option in the treatment of the disorder, stimulants may be a good choice, and their use should be discussed with your physician.
Partnering With Your Daycare or Preschool
For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner with your childcare center and make a personal investment beyond the monthly tuition. You can build your partnership with your daycare by volunteering your time, contributing goods or services, or donating money.
How Well Do You Know Your Child?
Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship.
Family Meetings Are Now On The Agenda
"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many parents when they hear the M word mentioned. Parents tend to associate meetings with the workplace rather than families.
7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as a family. Volunteering--teaches kindness, compassion and respect.
Guerilla Parenting Techniques: What Are They?
When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images come to mind? I see a big, broad shouldered soldier, dressed in green fatigues, with brown paint on his face. His chest is crisscrossed with ammunition for the guns strapped on his legs.
Top 50 Father Quotations
"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! "-- Anonymous"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching."-- Assyrian clay tablet 2800 B.
Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses
What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There are several reasons glasses will be rated as safe. They must not only cover the front of the eyes but also the top and sides as well so small particles can't enter the eye.
|home | site map|