Now, Theyre Bullying My Daughter In Our Home: Welcome To Cyber-Bullying
Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room to see her dad and said, "I got another one of those instant messages. It says, 'tomorrow you had better not show up at school or else'." She has been getting messages like this now for weeks. The result of this is that she no longer likes to turn her computer on.
Sue is now 14 years-old and in the 8th grade. She has been bullied at school for a number of years and they have had a difficult time getting the Principal and teachers to put a stop to it.
Sue has two disadvantages that make her a target. First, she has always had a weight problem, not extremely heavy but just a little over weight. Second, her last name is hard to pronounce. This has led to numerous ways to say and spell her name. They have been very creative and cruel. Tom is aware that she needs to lose about 20 pounds but what can he do about his name, change it?
This should come as no surprise to anyone, but as technology changes we all adjust; unfortunately, so do the bullies. Bullying has gone wireless. These are situations our children face that we never did.
How does this happen? The internet, cell phones with text messaging, instant messaging, camera phones and e-mail are the bullies new tools.
This is coming to a school near you if it hasn't already. The concerns involving cyber-bullying include:
1. Cyberbullying can be much more damaging psychologically and can be much more intense.
2. It creates a barrier between the bully and the victim. This can make anyone who normally wouldn't be a bully now becomes a potential bully because there is no face to face contact. Smaller students have found a way to act tough.
3. It is very difficult to catch the bully. When the victim is suspected or caught their defense is that it was someone else impersonating me or someone must of used my password.
4. Camera phones is making cyber-bullying more creative. Taking someone's picture and then manipulating it. When finished it is posted on a web site or e-mailed out. Imagine getting an e-mail of a nude individual with your face attached to it, and you're only a teenager.
5. Many think this is a joke and not as serious as bullying face to face.
Parents must be aware
Many kids, including Sue, do not want to report this problem to their parents for fear of how their parents may react. Many believe their parents will take away their cell phone, computer, or internet access. This is an obvious solution to stopping the messages, but it is only a temporary one. Sue feels harassed by the bully and punished by her parents when her equipment is removed. This is a double punishment for her.
SOLUTIONS are available - ask questions and act as if you're unfamiliar with the topic. For example, Have you ever heard of anyone receiving improper messages on their phone? Does anyone at school use their camera phones for taking pictures of others who don't want their picture taken? Then Sue's dad should educate her about each situation and how to handle it when and if it arises.
Text Messaging When Sue receives an obscene message, threat, or abusive message on her phone teach her to not respond. Your wireless provider should be notified to see how they handle this situation.
Chat-rooms and Instant Messaging This is what we need to teach Sue:
1. She should never give out her personal information.
2. She should not share her password.
3. If Sue receives inappropriate messages, have her disconnect or block the sender.
4. She should not respond to inappropriate messages. We do not want a dialogue to begin.
5. She should avoid giving out the name of her school.
6. No child should ever agree to meet anyone from a chat-room. That 17 year-old stud just may be a 53 year -old bald man with a pot belly.
E-Mail Once again, when Sue is sent an inappropriate email, she should not respond. Go to the source button to find out information on tracking where it was sent from. If it was sent from someone at school, then print the e-mail to use as proof. Sue's parents can contact the school or their service provider to see what options are available. If there are threats involved, then contacting the police is always an option.
Look into e-mail filters, creating folders for these e-mails, and spam software to block them. Whatever you choose, it will never be 100% perfect in blocking unwanted e-mails.
Here are some warning signs that Sue's dad needs to be aware of and Sue needs to inform an adult if she comes across these:
· If anyone insists on having her send her personnel information to the online "buddy."
· If she is sent messages, pictures, or offered gifts and told not to share these them with anyone.
· If she is requested to send pictures of herself to the e-mailer.
Remember adults do not make friends with children over the internet, then tell the child to keep it quiet without a purpose.
Handling the topic of cyber-bullying with your child before it becomes a problem will make it easier when and if it becomes a problem. Your child needs your guidance and ignoring this issue does not help or support anyone who is a victim of cyber-bullying.
Derek Randel is a parent coach who consults and works with parents in removing the yelling from their home. He has started http://www.stoppingschoolviolence.com a program for parents to help stop bullying. He has authored three parenting books.
The Added Advantage In African American Childrens Education: Computer Homeschooling (Part 2)
We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit how 'bout you!We left our parents and friends in our last article discussing the commitment it takes to homeschool african american children. In part 2 of 4 we will discuss finding resources to make sure that african american parents commitment to their children's education is not hampered because of anything easily available.
Getting Through to Your Teenager
Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake.
Children's Birthday Party Planning: When and When Not to Have a Big Party
Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only because this birthday is more for the parents than for the child. At age 1, a child doesn't understand the concept of "Birthday Party.
Life Lessons in a Glass of Beer
It was blisteringly hot last Saturday. As I took that first sip of a cold quality beer I knew it was sure to ease my thirst.
Playful Parenting - More than Just Fun and Games
Early childhood educators have called play "children's work". Many parents believe their children should be doing something more productive than merely having fun.
Backpacks and Bullies. Is Your Child Prepared?
As the flurry of Back to School activities subside, parents are left to ponder more pressing issues than notebooks, backpacks, and sneakers.Will my child succeed this year? Will his academic and social growth meet my hopes and expectations? Have I done everything I can to make this possible?If you haven't prepared your child for the school bully, not only could your dreams and aspirations end in failure, but your child could fall victim to the violence, and suffer long-lasting repercussions.
The Muffed Dance
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up to her older sister, the dancer, in a big way.
What Do Chinese Water Torture and Arguing with Children Have in Common?
Imagine yourself lying flat on your back, totally strapped down onto a cold, hard table, unable to move any part of your body. You can't see anything around you because your eyes are covered.
Vision: 20/20 Is Not Enough!
Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision checked. Don't be too quick to say, "My child's vision is fine: 20/20!" In many cases that is not enough.
You Goofed? Hip, Hip, Hooray!
Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it takes most kids years to find their strengths; if they don't try everything that comes their way --from kickball to spelling bees-- how will they discover their passions?One thing that parents can model is to value 'effort' and 'risk'.
The Challenges of Single Parenting
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I've discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through our behavior how to take personal responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves within and how to create a sense of safety in the world.
Starting School - What Age Should Children Begin School?
"What age should my child start school?"This is a common question that concerns many parents. It is complicated if your child's birthday happens to fall near a closing date for new school enrolments.
The Most Innovative New Approach for ADHD, a Natural Remedy
What's new and effective in the treatment of Attention problems? A powerful intervention that is clinically tested with computerized testing, not merely parent reports, has been available to the public since 1997, but is little known. It is an over the counter product that contains specific Amino Acid combinations, Essential Fatty Acids, Phospholipid complexes, and Homeopathic Medicines.
Children Need Roots and Wings
"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe first time I heard this quote, it made me think.
Blended Families Can Be Successful
Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together.
What a Parent Must Do to Stop Online Predators
Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school, at their friends' homes and in public places such as libraries and even from cell phones and video game consoles. Internet is everywhere, that is why kids and teenagers (and their parents, too) should be well aware of its dangers to avoid them.
Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician
When a child is born, a new number is added to the parental speed dial. When a child wakes his parents up in the middle of the night, there is one person that they know they can turn to for the answers.
Using Diet, Counseling, and Attend to Overcome ADHD
When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or with problems of Attention, Impulse Control, Over-Activity, or Learning Problems in "the real world," there are a number of approaches to treatment that may work well. The information in this series has either been gleaned from research on Attention Deficit Disorder - which I'll refer to as ADD or ADD, or it is from my own experience in a clinical setting.
Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and attending our local high school, the next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local morgue.
Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of "magic" as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions.
|home | site map|